His label might read something like this:
A well balanced blend. Exhibiting a distinctly aged finish for a young wine. Medium-bodied. A rare grape, prized for it’s ability to flourish and reach full desirability despite harsh climates or conditions. Humbly understated characteristics, most fully appreciated after blooming a bit in open air. Loyally pleasing a wide range of palates. A laid back harvest of flavors, accentuated by deep, woodsy notes and rich coffee overtones. Nuances of peppery warmth mingle with a refreshingly clean background. A classic, crisply defined finish, tempered with a gentle sweetness. Never harsh. Very forgiving, able to meld into most venues. A libation workhorse. Pairs best with full-flavored, comforting dishes with a touch of spice and hints of citrusy tang and brightness. Not recommended to be served alongside bitter flavors, bland fare or anything presented too chilled. This wine loses nothing with age and remains true to flavor year after year. Highly enjoyable, it’s one to always have on hand to savor and share.
AW! somehow hilarious and sweet at the same time!
Aww schmoopy… that was so sweet.
I’m pretty fond of him myself. I think your description is right on the mark. Good job.